Continuing Education for Deacons

The Board of Deacons nurtures the needs of our church community.  As in every profession or calling, education is paramount to improving how we approach our responsibilities. We Deacons have invested some of our monthly meeting time to learn from experts about how we may better approach certain aspects of our Deacon responsibilities. Specifically, we have received guidance in Trends in Aging and the Role of Community Resources, Elements of a Successful Home Visit and the Nature of Grief. 

Guest speaker Drew Dyson of the Princeton Senior Resource Center (PSRC) presented a talk on the Trends of Aging and the Roles of Community Organizations.  PSRC is open to all seniors, no matter where they live.  They offer many classes (at this time virtual) to engage seniors in subjects such as art and exercise to history and politics. They also house a technology center where seniors may receive assistance with computers. Mr. Dyson discussed trends in aging and listed these goals that community centers have to provide relevant and meaningful services to seniors:  

●      Combat isolation and loneliness with engagement and relationship.

●      Combat uncertainty and boredom with volunteering and purpose.

●      Combat fatigue and chronic illness with movement.

●      Combat Alzheimer’s and dementia with expanding horizons.

●      Combat isolation and “Fear of the Other” with inclusion and acceptance.

●      Combat ageism with intergenerational relationships.

Seniors are living longer and belonging to the workforce longer.  This growing population will require more services in their senior years enabling them to maintain a healthy and independent lifestyle.  Community senior centers are important tools and resources to assist this demographic. 

We also welcomed the Reverend Kelly Roman, chaplain of Chandler House, who shared with us advice about positive home visits. She acknowledged how difficult these visits can be, especially if the person is in declining health or in difficult circumstances. A key takeaway was that people like to share their stories and those stories can inspire us. We brainstormed about how to launch a conversation during a home visit. We don’t always have to ask questions, but may observe something in the room like a photo. Each visit is different and we need to adapt to the person and situation.  Being present with the person is what is most important. Tips we learned:

●      Bring news about the church. Share a story of what is going on.

●      Share a favorite hymn or scripture.

●      Pray. Make it a two way street. We all have challenges. We all need God. 

●      Deacons can use each other as resources when planning visits.

Reverend Roman’s suggestions impacted the way we will approach future home visits. 

Lastly, we heard from Rev. Dr. Nancy Duff, recently retired from Princeton Theological Seminary about The Nature of Grief.  Grief can be inconsolable and can last a lifetime. It becomes a part of us. We can’t fix someone’s grief.  However, we can be a ‘suffering presence.’  Dr. Duff discussed how our society discourages lament. However, lament, the passionate expression of grief, involves a bold act of faith. She pointed to Psalm 6:6:   I am weary with my moaning; every night I flood my bed with tears. All human experiences, including the gut-wrenching experience of grief,  can be brought to God in prayer.  The most important thing we can do to assist someone experiencing grief is to encourage them and provide them a safe space to share.  Many people say things to comfort those who grieve but they don’t always lend comfort. Here are some ideas for saying the “right” things:

• If you know it to be true:  “I know your grief is inconsolable.”

• I am holding (your name) before God in prayer. Name the person being mourned. 

• Remember what the person did well and reflect on the positives. 

• Email, send a card or call on phone weeks/months later and on birthdays and other special days.

• Be specific with offers of help:  May I walk your dog/take your children to the park…

Dr. Duff suggested we integrate lament into Sunday services to make it more acceptable to practice. Similar to our Assurance of Pardon, we could receive an
Assurance of God’s Presence. 

All these speakers have enriched the Board of Deacons. We are grateful that they shared their wisdom with us. With God’s guidance, we will integrate these lessons into the care we provide the Congregation.